Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
