Your face is a jimmy john
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
