Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
