Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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