after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
