They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
