So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
