That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i love accidental penises.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
