Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
