Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
