didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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