I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
