Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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