I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
