I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
whose parrot is this?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
