it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
