I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
