dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We are all done wearing pants today
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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