If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
