Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
