she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
