I hate all girls vehemently.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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