Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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