Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
