Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
