you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
