I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
