At least make sure they are 18
Why
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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