i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
