She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
