Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
