This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
