I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
