Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
