Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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