is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
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