Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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