I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
