You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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