I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
porn star boner night. come get it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
