dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
