ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
