yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
