Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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