I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
