I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You just made me feel so damn special
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
