You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
vagina is talking i cant
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
