If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
