i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
