Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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