yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
