i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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