Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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